Funny English Translations

 English is regarded as being cool, thus is being used all over

 the world for advertisement. Here is an hilarious selection of funny

English signs and notices from all four corners of the world.

 

                            In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water here.

 

                           On a golf course in Mexico:

Any persons, except players, caught collecting golf balls on this course

will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.

 

                         In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

             We take your bags and send them in all directions.

 

                        Doctors office, Rome:

           Specialist in women and other diseases.      

 

                          In a Nairobi restaurant:

Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

 

                                      In a cemetery:

              Persons are prohibited from picking flowers

                         from any graves but their own.

 

                  Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

                    Would you like to ride on your own ass ?

 

                                 A laundry in Rome:

                  Ladies leave your clothes here and spend

                      the afternoon having a good time.

 

                               Cocktail lounge, Norway:

            Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

 

                                Dry cleaners , Bangkok:

                   Drop your trousers here for best results.

 

                             On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

                         Our wines leave you nothing to  hope for.

 

                                           Hotel, Japan:

                You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

                (This one might interest Dominic Strauss Kahn!)

 

                              In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across

                              from a Russian Orthodox monastery:                              

Your are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

 

                                 Hotel, formerYugoslavia:

                  The flattening of underwear with pleasure

                         is the job of the chambermaid.

 

                                Supermarket, Hong Kong:

                       For your convenience, we recommend

                            courteous , efficient self-service.

 

                Tourist agency, former Czechoslovakia:

                 Take one of our horse-driven city tours.

                      We guarantee no miscarriages.

 

                                    In a Swiss mountain inn:     

                                  Special today - no ice-cream.

 

                                   In a Paris hotel elevator:

                     Please leave your values at the front desk.

 

                             Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

                                 Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

 

                              In a Rhodes (Greece) tailor shop:

                    Order your summer suit. Because is big rush

                   we will execute customers in strict rotation.

 

                                     In a Budapest zoo:   

                Please do not feed the animals. If you have any

                   suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.        

 

                                      In a Indian maternity:

                                       No children allowed.